Random Thoughts

I dunno. I miss Ryan. I dunno how to express it further. I find him so numb. He always try not to portray any emotion. This is getting difficult day by day. No assurance on when I will be coming back. Should I go back to Manila soon or what? Everything seems to be unpredictable. One thing is sure, I want a comfortable life. My parents brought me up this way. I dunno if I can learn how to step down a bit. Awhile ago my workmates were telling me that the kost (serviced studio type apartment) where I am moving to on March is expensive coz I earn less than that but my dad will be the one to finance it. It is pretty ironic though. I'm working but all I get from the company is not sufficient to fund my everyday needs. I just use it for shopping. Well, you have to give it to me. I haven't finished university yet and Dad told me that he doesn't like me to stay in a basta basta place since he has been working so hard all this time to give us a comfortable life. I love my dad eventhough he gets toxic at times.

Thoughts are all over my head. I can't express them into words but I can say that I'm pretty scared (not so scared) about the future. Tuition fees are really high and I have to send Daphne to a good school for sure. How am I able to do that on my own? On the other hand, I'm trying to find a way to be financially independent in the near future. Ayoko na may masabi sila sa akin. I wanna stand up with my own feet. Hopefully, I will be able to save up for a comfortable house soon, if ever I will be settling back to Manila or get a relatively good paying job here. What about other countries huh? hmm.. Let's see.

Dad is getting a job! Yay! :D Thank God! It took only a month of waiting. God is great! :) Justice and good karma come back so quick so no need to revenge or anything. yeah that's right. ;)

Btw, my sperm donor offered a child support. I said NO THANKS with my left eyebrow up. haha! I hope I could tell that to him face to face.